BE YOUR BEST

 (Photo source:deborahrespress.wordpress.com)

Some time ago, I had a conversation with a friend of mine, about the pressure put on people by some approaches in personal development. People are told to become the best in their domain or transmit the idea that anyone can be good at anything. And in some cases, these can bring to remarkable results, but they often discourage. 

Even Donald Trump said, somewhat in opposition to Robert Kiyosaki, that not everyone is tailored to become entrepreneurs, and many "broke their necks" by starting doing businesses they were neither talented, nor prepared for, and lost their houses, balance, family and self-esteem.

On the other hand, we are taught in schools that we need to be among the best three, in order for what we do to count. It's totally false! Firstly, you can't be good at everything and you can't be good at anything! And even when you discover your talent (and we ALL have amazing talents we need to discover), you become good  after action and practice. 

If you want to know what your talents are, do a simple exercise: remember what you loved doing in childhood. Those are the roots of your talents. Then find the activities which are connected to what you liked and those are the domains where you can excel. 

When we grow up, we sometimes pick role-models who do something we are not gifted for, and even if we could also do those activities to a certain level of precision, it's less probable that we would become excellent.

Unrealistic expectations lead only to frustrations, to the inability to see your own progress, and our brain, in order to protect us from disappointment, will keep us away from action and courageous objectives.

Some even transmit the message that if you do not do something heroic, what you do does not matter. 

Still, the most solid results are obtained by daily action and by reporting yourself to you and your evolution. 

Honestly now, the most important and balanced contribution is not brought by the greatest performers, but by the so-called ordinary people who found their favourite activities and live in harmony with the people around and the environment.

The afore-mentioned, in their race to profit and success, close their eyes and do not wish to see the imbalance they sometimes produce: to the environment, to the people around, to the people who work for them and so on.

I believe in the contribution of all the people. I think that every and each of us has irreplaceable gifts meant to make this world a better place. Whether you will be a millionaire, billionaire or live with with very little, your true worth resides in the reality you create, in the energy you bring and in how you influence the people around you. 

Vorbeam, cu ceva timp in urma, cu o prietena, ca exista unele abordari in dezvoltarea personala care pun o presiune enorma asupra oamenilor sa fie cei mai buni in domeniu sau transmit ideea ca oricine poate fi bun la orice. In unele cazuri, acestea pot duce la rezultate uimitoare, insa de multe ori descurajeaza.

Chiar Donald Trump spunea, cumva in opozitie cu Robert Kiyosaki, ca el nu considera ca toti oamenii au stofa de antreprenor, si multi si-au frant gatul aruncandu-se in afaceri, pierzandu-si casa, echilibrul, familia, economiile si increderea in fortele proprii.

Scoala, pe de alta parte, nu face decat sa transmita ca ai valoare doar daca esti pe podium. I-am simtit dezamagirea elevei mele, Thea, care s-a clasat pe locul 11 la nivel national si mi s-a parut nedrept ca nu i s-a transmis acestui copil ideea ca e o performanta exceptionala (sper ca m-a crezut pe cuvant cand i-am spus) chiar daca nu a primit un premiu.

Asteptarile nerealiste nu duc decat la frustrare, la incapacitatea de a-ti vedea progresul, iar creierul nostru, pentru a ne proteja de dezamagire, nu face decat sa ne tina departe de actiune si obiective mai curajoase.

Se transmite cumva mesajul in unele cazuri, ca daca nu faci ceva eroic, ce faci nu conteaza. 

Insa cele mai solide rezultate sunt obtinute prin actiune zilnica si prin raportarea la tine si evolutia ta.

Sincer acum, cea mai importanta si echilibrata contributie nu este adusa de cei mai mari performeri, ci de oamenii asa-zis obisnuiti care traiesc in armonie cu mediul si cu cei din jurul lor.

De multe ori, in goana dupa succes si profit, cei intai mentionati inchid ochii si nu vor sa vada dezechilibrele pe care le produc: in mediu, celor apropiati, oamenilor care lucreaza pentru ei, etc.

Fara a fi socialista in abordare, eu cred in contributia celor multi. Cred ca o mie de oameni echilibrati si care au valori pot aduce o mai buna contributie lumii decat un miliardar disperat sa fie cel mai bun de pe piata.

Mesajul meu e urmatorul: Relaxeaza-te! Obiectivele tale vor fi mai usor de atins atunci cand vor fi aliniate cu valorile tale, si atunci cand te vei concentra pe evolutia fata de tine mai mult decat fata de ceilalti, vor aparea si rezultatele.

Sunt valori care nu pot fi date la schimb pentru nimic: echilibrul, stima de sine, starea de bine a celor dragi, iar aici fiecare dintre noi poate veni cu valori in completare.

Am fost la multe seminarii de dezvoltare personala si educatie financiara, si multe pun o presiune mult prea mare pe individ. Cel mai ecologic mesaj este: Fa cate ceva, cat poti tu, ca sa fii astazi mai bun decat ieri. Si fa asta zilnic.

Noteaza-ti undeva sau intreaba-te: Cu ce am fost mai bun azi? Si astfel vei progresa mult mai natural, vei avea o stare de bine si vei invata sa te uiti la cei din jurul tau pentru a invata lucruri noi si nu pentru a fi in competitie.

Nu toti avem personalitate de performer, insa fiecare dintre noi avem daruri minunate de oferit lumii, si o vom face, atata timp cat ne vom permite sa fim noi insine fara presiuni inutile asupra mentalului. 
Vorbeam, cu ceva timp in urma, cu o prietena, ca exista unele abordari in dezvoltarea personala care pun o presiune enorma asupra oamenilor sa fie cei mai buni in domeniu sau transmit ideea ca oricine poate fi bun la orice. In unele cazuri, acestea pot duce la rezultate uimitoare, insa de multe ori descurajeaza.

Chiar Donald Trump spunea, cumva in opozitie cu Robert Kiyosaki, ca el nu considera ca toti oamenii au stofa de antreprenor, si multi si-au frant gatul aruncandu-se in afaceri, pierzandu-si casa, echilibrul, familia, economiile si increderea in fortele proprii.

Scoala, pe de alta parte, nu face decat sa transmita ca ai valoare doar daca esti pe podium. I-am simtit dezamagirea elevei mele, Thea, care s-a clasat pe locul 11 la nivel national si mi s-a parut nedrept ca nu i s-a transmis acestui copil ideea ca e o performanta exceptionala (sper ca m-a crezut pe cuvant cand i-am spus) chiar daca nu a primit un premiu.

Asteptarile nerealiste nu duc decat la frustrare, la incapacitatea de a-ti vedea progresul, iar creierul nostru, pentru a ne proteja de dezamagire, nu face decat sa ne tina departe de actiune si obiective mai curajoase.

Se transmite cumva mesajul in unele cazuri, ca daca nu faci ceva eroic, ce faci nu conteaza. 

Insa cele mai solide rezultate sunt obtinute prin actiune zilnica si prin raportarea la tine si evolutia ta.

Sincer acum, cea mai importanta si echilibrata contributie nu este adusa de cei mai mari performeri, ci de oamenii asa-zis obisnuiti care traiesc in armonie cu mediul si cu cei din jurul lor.

De multe ori, in goana dupa succes si profit, cei intai mentionati inchid ochii si nu vor sa vada dezechilibrele pe care le produc: in mediu, celor apropiati, oamenilor care lucreaza pentru ei, etc.

Fara a fi socialista in abordare, eu cred in contributia celor multi. Cred ca o mie de oameni echilibrati si care au valori pot aduce o mai buna contributie lumii decat un miliardar disperat sa fie cel mai bun de pe piata.

Mesajul meu e urmatorul: Relaxeaza-te! Obiectivele tale vor fi mai usor de atins atunci cand vor fi aliniate cu valorile tale, si atunci cand te vei concentra pe evolutia fata de tine mai mult decat fata de ceilalti, vor aparea si rezultatele.

Sunt valori care nu pot fi date la schimb pentru nimic: echilibrul, stima de sine, starea de bine a celor dragi, iar aici fiecare dintre noi poate veni cu valori in completare.

Am fost la multe seminarii de dezvoltare personala si educatie financiara, si multe pun o presiune mult prea mare pe individ. Cel mai ecologic mesaj este: Fa cate ceva, cat poti tu, ca sa fii astazi mai bun decat ieri. Si fa asta zilnic.

Noteaza-ti undeva sau intreaba-te: Cu ce am fost mai bun azi? Si astfel vei progresa mult mai natural, vei avea o stare de bine si vei invata sa te uiti la cei din jurul tau pentru a invata lucruri noi si nu pentru a fi in competitie.

Nu toti avem personalitate de performer, insa fiecare dintre noi avem daruri minunate de oferit lumii, si o vom face, atata timp cat ne vom permite sa fim noi insine fara presiuni inutile asupra mentalului. 
- See more at: http://balanstefana.blogspot.ro/#sthash.RyyFwkMH.d

Vorbeam, cu ceva timp in urma, cu o prietena, ca exista unele abordari in dezvoltarea personala care pun o presiune enorma asupra oamenilor sa fie cei mai buni in domeniu sau transmit ideea ca oricine poate fi bun la orice. In unele cazuri, acestea pot duce la rezultate uimitoare, insa de multe ori descurajeaza.

Chiar Donald Trump spunea, cumva in opozitie cu Robert Kiyosaki, ca el nu considera ca toti oamenii au stofa de antreprenor, si multi si-au frant gatul aruncandu-se in afaceri, pierzandu-si casa, echilibrul, familia, economiile si increderea in fortele proprii.

Scoala, pe de alta parte, nu face decat sa transmita ca ai valoare doar daca esti pe podium. I-am simtit dezamagirea elevei mele, Thea, care s-a clasat pe locul 11 la nivel national si mi s-a parut nedrept ca nu i s-a transmis acestui copil ideea ca e o performanta exceptionala (sper ca m-a crezut pe cuvant cand i-am spus) chiar daca nu a primit un premiu.

Asteptarile nerealiste nu duc decat la frustrare, la incapacitatea de a-ti vedea progresul, iar creierul nostru, pentru a ne proteja de dezamagire, nu face decat sa ne tina departe de actiune si obiective mai curajoase.

Se transmite cumva mesajul in unele cazuri, ca daca nu faci ceva eroic, ce faci nu conteaza. 

Insa cele mai solide rezultate sunt obtinute prin actiune zilnica si prin raportarea la tine si evolutia ta.

Sincer acum, cea mai importanta si echilibrata contributie nu este adusa de cei mai mari performeri, ci de oamenii asa-zis obisnuiti care traiesc in armonie cu mediul si cu cei din jurul lor.

De multe ori, in goana dupa succes si profit, cei intai mentionati inchid ochii si nu vor sa vada dezechilibrele pe care le produc: in mediu, celor apropiati, oamenilor care lucreaza pentru ei, etc.

Fara a fi socialista in abordare, eu cred in contributia celor multi. Cred ca o mie de oameni echilibrati si care au valori pot aduce o mai buna contributie lumii decat un miliardar disperat sa fie cel mai bun de pe piata.

Mesajul meu e urmatorul: Relaxeaza-te! Obiectivele tale vor fi mai usor de atins atunci cand vor fi aliniate cu valorile tale, si atunci cand te vei concentra pe evolutia fata de tine mai mult decat fata de ceilalti, vor aparea si rezultatele.

Sunt valori care nu pot fi date la schimb pentru nimic: echilibrul, stima de sine, starea de bine a celor dragi, iar aici fiecare dintre noi poate veni cu valori in completare.

Am fost la multe seminarii de dezvoltare personala si educatie financiara, si multe pun o presiune mult prea mare pe individ. Cel mai ecologic mesaj este: Fa cate ceva, cat poti tu, ca sa fii astazi mai bun decat ieri. Si fa asta zilnic.

Noteaza-ti undeva sau intreaba-te: Cu ce am fost mai bun azi? Si astfel vei progresa mult mai natural, vei avea o stare de bine si vei invata sa te uiti la cei din jurul tau pentru a invata lucruri noi si nu pentru a fi in competitie.

Nu toti avem personalitate de performer, insa fiecare dintre noi avem daruri minunate de oferit lumii, si o vom face, atata timp cat ne vom permite sa fim noi insine fara presiuni inutile asupra mentalului. 
- See more at: http://balanstefana.blogspot.ro/#sthash.RyyFwkMH.dpuf

Vorbeam, cu ceva timp in urma, cu o prietena, ca exista unele abordari in dezvoltarea personala care pun o presiune enorma asupra oamenilor sa fie cei mai buni in domeniu sau transmit ideea ca oricine poate fi bun la orice. In unele cazuri, acestea pot duce la rezultate uimitoare, insa de multe ori descurajeaza.

Chiar Donald Trump spunea, cumva in opozitie cu Robert Kiyosaki, ca el nu considera ca toti oamenii au stofa de antreprenor, si multi si-au frant gatul aruncandu-se in afaceri, pierzandu-si casa, echilibrul, familia, economiile si increderea in fortele proprii.

Scoala, pe de alta parte, nu face decat sa transmita ca ai valoare doar daca esti pe podium. I-am simtit dezamagirea elevei mele, Thea, care s-a clasat pe locul 11 la nivel national si mi s-a parut nedrept ca nu i s-a transmis acestui copil ideea ca e o performanta exceptionala (sper ca m-a crezut pe cuvant cand i-am spus) chiar daca nu a primit un premiu.

Asteptarile nerealiste nu duc decat la frustrare, la incapacitatea de a-ti vedea progresul, iar creierul nostru, pentru a ne proteja de dezamagire, nu face decat sa ne tina departe de actiune si obiective mai curajoase.

Se transmite cumva mesajul in unele cazuri, ca daca nu faci ceva eroic, ce faci nu conteaza. 

Insa cele mai solide rezultate sunt obtinute prin actiune zilnica si prin raportarea la tine si evolutia ta.

Sincer acum, cea mai importanta si echilibrata contributie nu este adusa de cei mai mari performeri, ci de oamenii asa-zis obisnuiti care traiesc in armonie cu mediul si cu cei din jurul lor.

De multe ori, in goana dupa succes si profit, cei intai mentionati inchid ochii si nu vor sa vada dezechilibrele pe care le produc: in mediu, celor apropiati, oamenilor care lucreaza pentru ei, etc.

Fara a fi socialista in abordare, eu cred in contributia celor multi. Cred ca o mie de oameni echilibrati si care au valori pot aduce o mai buna contributie lumii decat un miliardar disperat sa fie cel mai bun de pe piata.

Mesajul meu e urmatorul: Relaxeaza-te! Obiectivele tale vor fi mai usor de atins atunci cand vor fi aliniate cu valorile tale, si atunci cand te vei concentra pe evolutia fata de tine mai mult decat fata de ceilalti, vor aparea si rezultatele.

Sunt valori care nu pot fi date la schimb pentru nimic: echilibrul, stima de sine, starea de bine a celor dragi, iar aici fiecare dintre noi poate veni cu valori in completare.

Am fost la multe seminarii de dezvoltare personala si educatie financiara, si multe pun o presiune mult prea mare pe individ. Cel mai ecologic mesaj este: Fa cate ceva, cat poti tu, ca sa fii astazi mai bun decat ieri. Si fa asta zilnic.

Noteaza-ti undeva sau intreaba-te: Cu ce am fost mai bun azi? Si astfel vei progresa mult mai natural, vei avea o stare de bine si vei invata sa te uiti la cei din jurul tau pentru a invata lucruri noi si nu pentru a fi in competitie.

Nu toti avem personalitate de performer, insa fiecare dintre noi avem daruri minunate de oferit lumii, si o vom face, atata timp cat ne vom permite sa fim noi insine fara presiuni inutile asupra mentalului. 
- See more at: http://balanstefana.blogspot.ro/#sthash.RyyFwkMH.dpuf

Vorbeam, cu ceva timp in urma, cu o prietena, ca exista unele abordari in dezvoltarea personala care pun o presiune enorma asupra oamenilor sa fie cei mai buni in domeniu sau transmit ideea ca oricine poate fi bun la orice. In unele cazuri, acestea pot duce la rezultate uimitoare, insa de multe ori descurajeaza.

Chiar Donald Trump spunea, cumva in opozitie cu Robert Kiyosaki, ca el nu considera ca toti oamenii au stofa de antreprenor, si multi si-au frant gatul aruncandu-se in afaceri, pierzandu-si casa, echilibrul, familia, economiile si increderea in fortele proprii.

Scoala, pe de alta parte, nu face decat sa transmita ca ai valoare doar daca esti pe podium. I-am simtit dezamagirea elevei mele, Thea, care s-a clasat pe locul 11 la nivel national si mi s-a parut nedrept ca nu i s-a transmis acestui copil ideea ca e o performanta exceptionala (sper ca m-a crezut pe cuvant cand i-am spus) chiar daca nu a primit un premiu.

Asteptarile nerealiste nu duc decat la frustrare, la incapacitatea de a-ti vedea progresul, iar creierul nostru, pentru a ne proteja de dezamagire, nu face decat sa ne tina departe de actiune si obiective mai curajoase.

Se transmite cumva mesajul in unele cazuri, ca daca nu faci ceva eroic, ce faci nu conteaza. 

Insa cele mai solide rezultate sunt obtinute prin actiune zilnica si prin raportarea la tine si evolutia ta.

Sincer acum, cea mai importanta si echilibrata contributie nu este adusa de cei mai mari performeri, ci de oamenii asa-zis obisnuiti care traiesc in armonie cu mediul si cu cei din jurul lor.

De multe ori, in goana dupa succes si profit, cei intai mentionati inchid ochii si nu vor sa vada dezechilibrele pe care le produc: in mediu, celor apropiati, oamenilor care lucreaza pentru ei, etc.

Fara a fi socialista in abordare, eu cred in contributia celor multi. Cred ca o mie de oameni echilibrati si care au valori pot aduce o mai buna contributie lumii decat un miliardar disperat sa fie cel mai bun de pe piata.

Mesajul meu e urmatorul: Relaxeaza-te! Obiectivele tale vor fi mai usor de atins atunci cand vor fi aliniate cu valorile tale, si atunci cand te vei concentra pe evolutia fata de tine mai mult decat fata de ceilalti, vor aparea si rezultatele.

Sunt valori care nu pot fi date la schimb pentru nimic: echilibrul, stima de sine, starea de bine a celor dragi, iar aici fiecare dintre noi poate veni cu valori in completare.

Am fost la multe seminarii de dezvoltare personala si educatie financiara, si multe pun o presiune mult prea mare pe individ. Cel mai ecologic mesaj este: Fa cate ceva, cat poti tu, ca sa fii astazi mai bun decat ieri. Si fa asta zilnic.

Noteaza-ti undeva sau intreaba-te: Cu ce am fost mai bun azi? Si astfel vei progresa mult mai natural, vei avea o stare de bine si vei invata sa te uiti la cei din jurul tau pentru a invata lucruri noi si nu pentru a fi in competitie.

Nu toti avem personalitate de performer, insa fiecare dintre noi avem daruri minunate de oferit lumii, si o vom face, atata timp cat ne vom permite sa fim noi insine fara presiuni inutile asupra mentalului. 
- See more at: http://balanstefana.blogspot.ro/#sthash.RyyFwkMH.dpuf

Vorbeam, cu ceva timp in urma, cu o prietena, ca exista unele abordari in dezvoltarea personala care pun o presiune enorma asupra oamenilor sa fie cei mai buni in domeniu sau transmit ideea ca oricine poate fi bun la orice. In unele cazuri, acestea pot duce la rezultate uimitoare, insa de multe ori descurajeaza.

Chiar Donald Trump spunea, cumva in opozitie cu Robert Kiyosaki, ca el nu considera ca toti oamenii au stofa de antreprenor, si multi si-au frant gatul aruncandu-se in afaceri, pierzandu-si casa, echilibrul, familia, economiile si increderea in fortele proprii.

Scoala, pe de alta parte, nu face decat sa transmita ca ai valoare doar daca esti pe podium. I-am simtit dezamagirea elevei mele, Thea, care s-a clasat pe locul 11 la nivel national si mi s-a parut nedrept ca nu i s-a transmis acestui copil ideea ca e o performanta exceptionala (sper ca m-a crezut pe cuvant cand i-am spus) chiar daca nu a primit un premiu.

Asteptarile nerealiste nu duc decat la frustrare, la incapacitatea de a-ti vedea progresul, iar creierul nostru, pentru a ne proteja de dezamagire, nu face decat sa ne tina departe de actiune si obiective mai curajoase.

Se transmite cumva mesajul in unele cazuri, ca daca nu faci ceva eroic, ce faci nu conteaza. 

Insa cele mai solide rezultate sunt obtinute prin actiune zilnica si prin raportarea la tine si evolutia ta.

Sincer acum, cea mai importanta si echilibrata contributie nu este adusa de cei mai mari performeri, ci de oamenii asa-zis obisnuiti care traiesc in armonie cu mediul si cu cei din jurul lor.

De multe ori, in goana dupa succes si profit, cei intai mentionati inchid ochii si nu vor sa vada dezechilibrele pe care le produc: in mediu, celor apropiati, oamenilor care lucreaza pentru ei, etc.

Fara a fi socialista in abordare, eu cred in contributia celor multi. Cred ca o mie de oameni echilibrati si care au valori pot aduce o mai buna contributie lumii decat un miliardar disperat sa fie cel mai bun de pe piata.

Mesajul meu e urmatorul: Relaxeaza-te! Obiectivele tale vor fi mai usor de atins atunci cand vor fi aliniate cu valorile tale, si atunci cand te vei concentra pe evolutia fata de tine mai mult decat fata de ceilalti, vor aparea si rezultatele.

Sunt valori care nu pot fi date la schimb pentru nimic: echilibrul, stima de sine, starea de bine a celor dragi, iar aici fiecare dintre noi poate veni cu valori in completare.

Am fost la multe seminarii de dezvoltare personala si educatie financiara, si multe pun o presiune mult prea mare pe individ. Cel mai ecologic mesaj este: Fa cate ceva, cat poti tu, ca sa fii astazi mai bun decat ieri. Si fa asta zilnic.

Noteaza-ti undeva sau intreaba-te: Cu ce am fost mai bun azi? Si astfel vei progresa mult mai natural, vei avea o stare de bine si vei invata sa te uiti la cei din jurul tau pentru a invata lucruri noi si nu pentru a fi in competitie.

Nu toti avem personalitate de performer, insa fiecare dintre noi avem daruri minunate de oferit lumii, si o vom face, atata timp cat ne vom permite sa fim noi insine fara presiuni inutile asupra mentalului. 
- See more at: http://balanstefana.blogspot.ro/#sthash.RyyFwkMH.dpuf

Vorbeam, cu ceva timp in urma, cu o prietena, ca exista unele abordari in dezvoltarea personala care pun o presiune enorma asupra oamenilor sa fie cei mai buni in domeniu sau transmit ideea ca oricine poate fi bun la orice. In unele cazuri, acestea pot duce la rezultate uimitoare, insa de multe ori descurajeaza.

Chiar Donald Trump spunea, cumva in opozitie cu Robert Kiyosaki, ca el nu considera ca toti oamenii au stofa de antreprenor, si multi si-au frant gatul aruncandu-se in afaceri, pierzandu-si casa, echilibrul, familia, economiile si increderea in fortele proprii.

Scoala, pe de alta parte, nu face decat sa transmita ca ai valoare doar daca esti pe podium. I-am simtit dezamagirea elevei mele, Thea, care s-a clasat pe locul 11 la nivel national si mi s-a parut nedrept ca nu i s-a transmis acestui copil ideea ca e o performanta exceptionala (sper ca m-a crezut pe cuvant cand i-am spus) chiar daca nu a primit un premiu.

Asteptarile nerealiste nu duc decat la frustrare, la incapacitatea de a-ti vedea progresul, iar creierul nostru, pentru a ne proteja de dezamagire, nu face decat sa ne tina departe de actiune si obiective mai curajoase.

Se transmite cumva mesajul in unele cazuri, ca daca nu faci ceva eroic, ce faci nu conteaza. 

Insa cele mai solide rezultate sunt obtinute prin actiune zilnica si prin raportarea la tine si evolutia ta.

Sincer acum, cea mai importanta si echilibrata contributie nu este adusa de cei mai mari performeri, ci de oamenii asa-zis obisnuiti care traiesc in armonie cu mediul si cu cei din jurul lor.

De multe ori, in goana dupa succes si profit, cei intai mentionati inchid ochii si nu vor sa vada dezechilibrele pe care le produc: in mediu, celor apropiati, oamenilor care lucreaza pentru ei, etc.

Fara a fi socialista in abordare, eu cred in contributia celor multi. Cred ca o mie de oameni echilibrati si care au valori pot aduce o mai buna contributie lumii decat un miliardar disperat sa fie cel mai bun de pe piata.

Mesajul meu e urmatorul: Relaxeaza-te! Obiectivele tale vor fi mai usor de atins atunci cand vor fi aliniate cu valorile tale, si atunci cand te vei concentra pe evolutia fata de tine mai mult decat fata de ceilalti, vor aparea si rezultatele.

Sunt valori care nu pot fi date la schimb pentru nimic: echilibrul, stima de sine, starea de bine a celor dragi, iar aici fiecare dintre noi poate veni cu valori in completare.

Am fost la multe seminarii de dezvoltare personala si educatie financiara, si multe pun o presiune mult prea mare pe individ. Cel mai ecologic mesaj este: Fa cate ceva, cat poti tu, ca sa fii astazi mai bun decat ieri. Si fa asta zilnic.

Noteaza-ti undeva sau intreaba-te: Cu ce am fost mai bun azi? Si astfel vei progresa mult mai natural, vei avea o stare de bine si vei invata sa te uiti la cei din jurul tau pentru a invata lucruri noi si nu pentru a fi in competitie.

Nu toti avem personalitate de performer, insa fiecare dintre noi avem daruri minunate de oferit lumii, si o vom face, atata timp cat ne vom permite sa fim noi insine fara presiuni inutile asupra mentalului. 
- See more at: http://balanstefana.blogspot.ro/#sthash.RyyFwkMH.dpuf

Vorbeam, cu ceva timp in urma, cu o prietena, ca exista unele abordari in dezvoltarea personala care pun o presiune enorma asupra oamenilor sa fie cei mai buni in domeniu sau transmit ideea ca oricine poate fi bun la orice. In unele cazuri, acestea pot duce la rezultate uimitoare, insa de multe ori descurajeaza.

Chiar Donald Trump spunea, cumva in opozitie cu Robert Kiyosaki, ca el nu considera ca toti oamenii au stofa de antreprenor, si multi si-au frant gatul aruncandu-se in afaceri, pierzandu-si casa, echilibrul, familia, economiile si increderea in fortele proprii.

Scoala, pe de alta parte, nu face decat sa transmita ca ai valoare doar daca esti pe podium. I-am simtit dezamagirea elevei mele, Thea, care s-a clasat pe locul 11 la nivel national si mi s-a parut nedrept ca nu i s-a transmis acestui copil ideea ca e o performanta exceptionala (sper ca m-a crezut pe cuvant cand i-am spus) chiar daca nu a primit un premiu.

Asteptarile nerealiste nu duc decat la frustrare, la incapacitatea de a-ti vedea progresul, iar creierul nostru, pentru a ne proteja de dezamagire, nu face decat sa ne tina departe de actiune si obiective mai curajoase.

Se transmite cumva mesajul in unele cazuri, ca daca nu faci ceva eroic, ce faci nu conteaza. 

Insa cele mai solide rezultate sunt obtinute prin actiune zilnica si prin raportarea la tine si evolutia ta.

Sincer acum, cea mai importanta si echilibrata contributie nu este adusa de cei mai mari performeri, ci de oamenii asa-zis obisnuiti care traiesc in armonie cu mediul si cu cei din jurul lor.

De multe ori, in goana dupa succes si profit, cei intai mentionati inchid ochii si nu vor sa vada dezechilibrele pe care le produc: in mediu, celor apropiati, oamenilor care lucreaza pentru ei, etc.

Fara a fi socialista in abordare, eu cred in contributia celor multi. Cred ca o mie de oameni echilibrati si care au valori pot aduce o mai buna contributie lumii decat un miliardar disperat sa fie cel mai bun de pe piata.

Mesajul meu e urmatorul: Relaxeaza-te! Obiectivele tale vor fi mai usor de atins atunci cand vor fi aliniate cu valorile tale, si atunci cand te vei concentra pe evolutia fata de tine mai mult decat fata de ceilalti, vor aparea si rezultatele.

Sunt valori care nu pot fi date la schimb pentru nimic: echilibrul, stima de sine, starea de bine a celor dragi, iar aici fiecare dintre noi poate veni cu valori in completare.

Am fost la multe seminarii de dezvoltare personala si educatie financiara, si multe pun o presiune mult prea mare pe individ. Cel mai ecologic mesaj este: Fa cate ceva, cat poti tu, ca sa fii astazi mai bun decat ieri. Si fa asta zilnic.

Noteaza-ti undeva sau intreaba-te: Cu ce am fost mai bun azi? Si astfel vei progresa mult mai natural, vei avea o stare de bine si vei invata sa te uiti la cei din jurul tau pentru a invata lucruri noi si nu pentru a fi in competitie.

Nu toti avem personalitate de performer, insa fiecare dintre noi avem daruri minunate de oferit lumii, si o vom face, atata timp cat ne vom permite sa fim noi insine fara presiuni inutile asupra mentalului. 

Te invit, cu ocazia asta, la un eveniment in care temele sunt Umanizarea locului de munca si A aduce bucurie vietii, pentru ca pana la urma, cel mai mare dar pe care ni-l putem face nu e reprezentat in primul rand de bani, ci de o viata frumoasa alaturi de cei dragi. 

Te astept pe 7 mai la 11even Bacau, alaturi de oameni minunati ca Tedy Necula, Marius Simion, Sorin Peligrad, Peter Barta, Marius Alexa, Amedeia Neamtu si Magicianul Augustin.

Daca ti-a placut, da mai departe! - See more at: http://balanstefana.blogspot.ro/2014/04/be-your-best-fii-varianta-ta-cea-mai.html#sthash.SkqDcDgs.dpuf

Vorbeam, cu ceva timp in urma, cu o prietena, ca exista unele abordari in dezvoltarea personala care pun o presiune enorma asupra oamenilor sa fie cei mai buni in domeniu sau transmit ideea ca oricine poate fi bun la orice. In unele cazuri, acestea pot duce la rezultate uimitoare, insa de multe ori descurajeaza.

Chiar Donald Trump spunea, cumva in opozitie cu Robert Kiyosaki, ca el nu considera ca toti oamenii au stofa de antreprenor, si multi si-au frant gatul aruncandu-se in afaceri, pierzandu-si casa, echilibrul, familia, economiile si increderea in fortele proprii.

Scoala, pe de alta parte, nu face decat sa transmita ca ai valoare doar daca esti pe podium. I-am simtit dezamagirea elevei mele, Thea, care s-a clasat pe locul 11 la nivel national si mi s-a parut nedrept ca nu i s-a transmis acestui copil ideea ca e o performanta exceptionala (sper ca m-a crezut pe cuvant cand i-am spus) chiar daca nu a primit un premiu.

Asteptarile nerealiste nu duc decat la frustrare, la incapacitatea de a-ti vedea progresul, iar creierul nostru, pentru a ne proteja de dezamagire, nu face decat sa ne tina departe de actiune si obiective mai curajoase.

Se transmite cumva mesajul in unele cazuri, ca daca nu faci ceva eroic, ce faci nu conteaza. 

Insa cele mai solide rezultate sunt obtinute prin actiune zilnica si prin raportarea la tine si evolutia ta.

Sincer acum, cea mai importanta si echilibrata contributie nu este adusa de cei mai mari performeri, ci de oamenii asa-zis obisnuiti care traiesc in armonie cu mediul si cu cei din jurul lor.

De multe ori, in goana dupa succes si profit, cei intai mentionati inchid ochii si nu vor sa vada dezechilibrele pe care le produc: in mediu, celor apropiati, oamenilor care lucreaza pentru ei, etc.

Fara a fi socialista in abordare, eu cred in contributia celor multi. Cred ca o mie de oameni echilibrati si care au valori pot aduce o mai buna contributie lumii decat un miliardar disperat sa fie cel mai bun de pe piata.

Mesajul meu e urmatorul: Relaxeaza-te! Obiectivele tale vor fi mai usor de atins atunci cand vor fi aliniate cu valorile tale, si atunci cand te vei concentra pe evolutia fata de tine mai mult decat fata de ceilalti, vor aparea si rezultatele.

Sunt valori care nu pot fi date la schimb pentru nimic: echilibrul, stima de sine, starea de bine a celor dragi, iar aici fiecare dintre noi poate veni cu valori in completare.

Am fost la multe seminarii de dezvoltare personala si educatie financiara, si multe pun o presiune mult prea mare pe individ. Cel mai ecologic mesaj este: Fa cate ceva, cat poti tu, ca sa fii astazi mai bun decat ieri. Si fa asta zilnic.

Noteaza-ti undeva sau intreaba-te: Cu ce am fost mai bun azi? Si astfel vei progresa mult mai natural, vei avea o stare de bine si vei invata sa te uiti la cei din jurul tau pentru a invata lucruri noi si nu pentru a fi in competitie.

Nu toti avem personalitate de performer, insa fiecare dintre noi avem daruri minunate de oferit lumii, si o vom face, atata timp cat ne vom permite sa fim noi insine fara presiuni inutile asupra mentalului. 

Te invit, cu ocazia asta, la un eveniment in care temele sunt Umanizarea locului de munca si A aduce bucurie vietii, pentru ca pana la urma, cel mai mare dar pe care ni-l putem face nu e reprezentat in primul rand de bani, ci de o viata frumoasa alaturi de cei dragi. 

Te astept pe 7 mai la 11even Bacau, alaturi de oameni minunati ca Tedy Necula, Marius Simion, Sorin Peligrad, Peter Barta, Marius Alexa, Amedeia Neamtu si Magicianul Augustin.

Daca ti-a placut, da mai departe! - See more at: http://balanstefana.blogspot.ro/2014/04/be-your-best-fii-varianta-ta-cea-mai.html#sthash.SkqDcDgs.dpuf

RICHARD BANDLER'S TECHNIQUES FOR DEALING WITH THE PAST

My favourite quotation from dr. Richard Bandler, the co-creator of NLP is: "The best thing about the past is that it is over".

Richard thinks that psychology and psycho-analysis obsess too much over the past events. The saying that 'a person's past is a good indicator of the future' may be valid if we deal with a limited person who relies on the same patterns all the time, but it isn't for sure the case of my readers or of the people who develop personally.

If people were obsessed with the successes they had in the past, it would be a good thing, but they repeat over and over again the bad feelings they had, or the voices telling them bad things, or the films of the actions that made them feel bad, hoping to get rid of those feelings. Re-living the past does not make room for the future, I am afraid, or has a bad influence on the future.

The best thing you can do about the past is to leave it behind, and to do that, I learnt from dr. Bandler some very efficient techniques:

1. when you deal with a bad feeling you have got, if you close your eyes, you will notice that it rotates inside you. If you spin it faster, it will make you feel even worse. What you can do, is spin the feeling in the opposite direction, and you will notice that it weakens. You could continue by remembering a time when you felt really good, and if you don't, imagine one. Take the feeling of well-being and rotate it faster and faster until it fills you with joy.

2. if the bad feelings are produced by a voice repeating bad things to you, make sure that you make it speak like Donald Duck or Mickey Mouse while it tells you the bad things. It will certainly make you laugh and change your perspective and feelings.

3. if the past is coming back to you by means of huge 3D motion pictures, first, you need to gradually shrink the film until it is the size of a coin, blink it black and white several times and turn it off by means of a big button from an old TV set (the kind our grandparents had).

Using these techniques, I was able to stay out of conflicts,  delete from my memory  such sad events as the funerals and was able to remember those people as they were during their life and also helped me during the bad times when I was sick.

In conclusion, learn the lessons of the past, but quickly move to the present moment and imagine big successful films about you in the future.

P.S. You can learn these techniques and many more in Richard Bandler's and Paul McKenna's seminar Get the Life You Want

WHAT IS MY MISSION? WHO AM I? WHY AM I HERE?

I do not believe there is one human being who hadn't asked themselves this question... I surely had... And I realised that I am generally following my mission, that of educator, and this probably because I listened to my internal voice from an early age and I followed it. And if I had to pay the price here and there, I paid it willingly, because it was my choice.

I consider that this is something parents should take into consideration, since some of them force the children to follow the path they had designed, and no matter how good the financial situation of these children may become, if it was not their choice, they won't probably be happy, especially in a cultural environment where having the right to choose is worshiped.  

Happiness is a state of consciousness given by the balance between your interior world and the outside one. It does not really matter how much money you make, what is your social label if you do not have this balance. And the vocation comes from the depths of each person's being. 

I do believe that each of us has many gifts to the world we live in, world which, in return, will give a ''reward'' for those, and this reward means so much more than money.  These gifts are always with us, all our life, if we have not discovered them is because we have not stopped for a moment and we have not got inside us in order to find them. They have also been called talent, vocation, calling and there are some scientists who claim that they are our subjective choices and that people can do anything. I also think that, yet I also think that there is also much more profound in our choices, too. 

In my posts, I did not take the spiritual approach, not because I may not be spiritual, but because I am more interested in the scientific aspects of what happens. Even for the miracles which happened in my life I looked for the explanations and laws which led to those, because I do know that the Universe, whose manifestation we represent, respects its Laws. If we have not discovered them all, this does not mean that there are chaotic things in the Universe, even craziness has its own patterns. 

Yet, behind the patterns, in the case of humans and in the case of everything that exists, there is something deeper, and the best book to explain it is, undoubtedly, The Power of Now of Eckhart Tolle which will help you to feel that Energy and Life. I do not call that God, not to interfere with people's beliefs, yet it is the creative genius of the Universe which exists in us, people, and we can become aware of if we go behind the patterns. 

It is a great chance we get to be alive because we are given the task to bring our creative contribution to this world. We are not asked to follow the given tracks, we were given something extra: THE CHOICE. But with this, we felt the feeling of separation, by putting labels on people, things and deeds and we forgot that All is a Whole and all we do against one part is reflected In the Whole, which includes each of us, also.  

What is our role? We are a unique manifestation of the Universe, one of the perspectives, an important piece in an immense puzzle and our role is to increase and improve this puzzle by making sure we match as well. Our mission is ours to choose, we know and we feel what is our role, and if we stop and deeply breathe for a second, if we allow ourselves to feel, we will always be guided on the right flow. The Universe never leaves his children unattended, we only need to learn to be present and "read" the signs. The choice, is always ours. That is why we were given self-consciousness.  

If you liked the article, you might also be interested in the chapter YOUR CREATIVITY AND CONTRIBUTION TO THIS WORLD from the book HAPPINESS GUIDE FOR BEGINNERS

HOW TO GET LOVE

I have thought that people desire money more than anything... but I seem to have been quite wrong... It seems that people want LOVE.

Many hope that more money will bring them more chances for love, but I may as well tell that it is far from being the right recipe. More money increases, indeed, the life quality, but it does not guarantee love. Experiencing love is related  to how much we allow ourselves to feel.

I like what Richard Bandler says on the theme of love: " all love stories end in tragedy", the most important part is that you lived a love story. It is true, even in the ideal case the two get married, one of the two will die first. Therefore the fear that it is going to end should never frighten you and stop you from being with someone you like. I may sound cynical to you, yet that's the truth, and this truth will set you free from your fears and you'll relax and allow yourself to feel love.

Unfortunately, too many people close their options of feeling love again just because they were disappointed. It is a faulty way of seeing things. You have the chance to feel love again only if you allow yourself, as I have already mentioned.

Richard Bandler also said that "you need to kiss many frogs in order to find a prince/princess". It is really no problem if you were disappointed or turned down, it simply gives you the chance to find a better person for you. At the same time, in order to find the right one for you, it is vital to think about how you would like him or her TO BE and not how you would NOT, because the subconscious mind, which plays an important role in helping you find the right partner, does not compute negation, so if you think at what you do not wish, you should not be surprised if you get the same type of partner.

At the same time, there are people for whom we have an incredible chemical attraction, but no other common points, and there are others we initially feel nothing for and we discover later on that we have many common ideas with and we start feeling attracted to.

Do you want love? Allow it! Do not fear disappointment, if you get love, you will also get disappointed or sad, it is part of the equation and a sign that you also had the good part. It is also important to go back in the past and admit there were also good times. No, it does not mean you should get back together with your ex, simply change the way in which you regard things in order to allow what's best to get into your life.

In conclusion, love is a state of consciousness and can be accessed anytime for any partner, you simply need to let yourself feel it. As a result, relax and feel good, and it is possible that you will kiss one or two frogs on the way to your great love, but it does not mean it can't be fun. And to paraphrase someone who said that there is somebody for you somewhere in the world, I would add that, statistically speaking, there are probably hundreds of millions of people you are compatible with, all over the globe. All you need to do is be willing to find one for you!

If you liked my article, you might also like the chapter LOVE AND ROMANCE from the book HAPPINESS GUIDE FOR BEGINNERS as well as the articles:

http://stefanabalan.blogspot.ro/2013/08/real-love-is-not-like-in-hollywood.html

http://stefanabalan.blogspot.ro/2013/07/when-love-dies-how-to-accept-idea-of.html

If you found the article interesting, don't forget to share!

REAL LOVE IS NOT LIKE IN THE HOLLYWOOD MOVIES

In a recent survey on my blog in my mother tongue, I was surprised to notice that the vast majority of those who answered the question on my blog, picked the theme of love as the most interesting for them.

Of all the topics I could talk about, I consider this one the most delicate and difficult to approach and I have to warn you that if for the other themes I am fully using my NLP lessons from Dr. Richard Bandler and his amazing trainers, the posts on love will have a strong personal touch and I do not dare to claim that I hold the supreme secret of happiness in a couple, only my subjective opinion that I am living a beautiful love story with my husband.

Against my habit of using affirmative sentences, I chose this time a negation: Real love is NOT like in the movies. I do believe that if you want to have a real love story, you firstly need to get rid of the Hollywood films mental programming. If you are always watching your poor partner whether he does what Leo did when he jumped or whatever he did to save the girl from the Titanic, or who knows what other stories your brain may have recorded as being the "recipe" for love, you will not be able to RECEIVE what your partner really has to offer. Love is offered and received without scripts and repeated scenes.

Secondly, a partner is not a financial plan, nor a trophy. He/She is a real person who needs someone to help them develop, grow, flourish. Unfortunately I see too many women who are focusing only on the way they look, send too many sexual messages and they will not be able to attract, despite their other qualities, very reliable partners if they concentrate their seduction only in the sexuality zone. I have also noticed the gentlemen who are self-hypnotising when they see such women. I do understand that these are natural instincts, yet we are an evolved species, as far as I know... If somebody is good-looking, it does not mean that they are the "prince" or the "princess" from the fairy-tales. If they are considered good-looking, it is also the result of the media programming we get all our lives. Beauty is, indeed, in the eye of the beholder, and if you see beauty only in the physical qualities, do not be surprised that you have not found a partner close to your heart.

I truly believe in the relationships in which the partners help each other to evolve. Together with my husband, we have all sorts of discussions: our work, our son's education, investments, personal development and we encourage each other to accomplish as many things in all areas. We learnt, in time, to become a team and we respect the other's space, work and earnings, we have common investments and separate investments, common projects and separate projects, common dreams and separate dreams and common activities and separate activities. My husband encouraged me to do my NLP training with the best in the field, with Dr. Richard Bandler, Kathleen and John La Valle and their team and he also gave me part of the money, yet I preferred to return it to him as immediately as I could, not because he asked me to but because I think it is the fair thing to do, to let him be able to use the money he earned for his favourite activities, because that money represents his time and energy. The fact that we respect each other's money motivates us to make more and we are thus able to use it in our favourite projects without frustrating the other. I have met shocked looks to the idea that we have separate revenues but it works for us and we hardly ever have discussions referring to money. It is also possible that for other couples, other financial formulas to be the winning ones.

We also argue, I am impulsive and my husband is too analytic, however, no matter how different our ideas might be, or how much he would step on my nerves, and he has this inborn talent to step on ALL my nerves, I have educated myself that instead of preparing a painful divorce for him, to hold in my mind the dearest images we have, and I use the one in which he was holding my hand after I woke up from the anesthesia from my last year's surgery and the fact that he saved my life. OK, I admit that this sounded a bit like Hollywood, but I am totally convinced that you also have very strong images with your partner that you could use to get back together after you have a bit of a fight.

After all, our life is a subjective experience and the way we see our partner is our choice, and the way we treat them can help them develop or crush them. In any case, it depends on us, our values and our attitude what kind of partner we choose and we have.

In conclusion, love is not like in the movies, regardless the persons, there will always be disagreements and incompatibilities as well as different visions. It is up to us to pick the quality ones and to be ready to build a common life and a common vision but to also let them be as they want to be.

If you liked the article, you may also like the chapter LOVE AND ROMANCE from my book HAPPINESS GUIDE FOR BEGINNERS. 

SUCCESS, THY NAME IS DETERMINATION

DO YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL? I have one thing to tell you: DETERMINATION. Many of the people I know were fooled into believing that the LAW OF ATTRACTION will magically solve their problems and money will flow into their bank accounts without them having to make the slightest effort. Actually, I do believe that the LAW OF ATTRACTION should be supported in our lives by the more powerful LAW OF ACTION.

Honestly now, did you really believe that you could stay in your house, watching the movie THE SECRET and by only positive thinking, millions will come to you? The movie has, as I have already affirmed it in my book, many true parts, from the power of the vision which helps your brain establish objectives, the positive attitude which unblocks your brain to the gratitude that allows you what you already have in order to motivate you to acquire more.

If you want to be successful, if you want to be happy, you need PURPOSES. People talk about happiness and success as if those stayed hidden in a place they need to discover. Actually, a happy person, and ultimately, a successful one, is the one who believes in their objectives and makes them become reality. CONSTANTLY. DETERMINED. Not just by dreaming and then finding the excuses for not succeeding. If someone held the gun to your head or worse, the life a someone dear depended on your actions, you would certainly act!  

“If it is hard, it means that you are doing the right thing” Richard Bandler.The error most of us do is that we expect to accomplish great things in a total state of serenity and relaxation ... just like that, with no effort. Yet, exactly the moments when we find it difficult are the signs that things are changing.  

The brain has a certain inertia and in order to change a habit with another requires effort and DETERMINATION. And this implies never giving up, not postponing and doing the necessary steps, one by one, until a new lifestyle and habits are born. And the beautiful part is that after we succeed, we completely forget about the effort. And if it was harder, it makes so much more valuable. 

Do you want to be successful? Establish objectives, and not 2-3 a year, but 4 pages since you have the entire year at your disposal. I'd like to tell you that all the objectives I had were fulfilled, even more than that, I was bold enough to have new ones, and those came true as well. It is even more accurate to say that I accomplished them (it is true, with God's help, but as a Romanian proverbs says: "God gives you but He doesn't fill your bag"!). After you have an objective, make an action plan and when you find it hard to hold on, remember Dr. Bandler's words, continue because YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK. 

It takes around 21 days until we can establish a habit. Up to that moment, be proud of the moments when it was hard for you and you continued, because you made a progress, and continue, continue, continue...towards your goal!

WHAT IF I FAIL? Trust me, there is no greater failure than the lack of action. What society considers failures are partial successes that can be resumed and accomplished. Do not fear to have courageous objectives and be determined to succeed. In order to support a bit the "magic" from THE SECRET, Paolo Coelho is right to say that "if you have a dream, the Universe conspires in fulfilling it" only when you get out the comfort zone, take action and be sure you will get "help". That's the real secret ;) 

You may also like the chapters THE POWER OF YOUR VISIONS and THE POWER OF DETERMINATION from my book HAPPINESS GUIDE FOR BEGINNERS 

and the articles: 

http://stefanabalan.blogspot.ro/2013/07/5-killers-of-your-dreams.html

http://stefanabalan.blogspot.ro/2013/07/10-things-that-will-make-you-happier.html

UNHAPPINESS IS A PERSONAL CHOICE

When I launched my book, HAPPINESS GUIDE FOR BEGINNERS, I chose as a dedication for my readers: "I hope that this book will always remind you that happiness is a personal choice". Yet so is unhappiness and unfortunately this is a very frequent choice of people.  What exactly makes us choose unhappiness?

1. WE COMPLAIN TOO MUCH!

Way too much! If you make a simple observation exercise,  you will see that it is an international sport. From the daily news to our office colleagues, mainly bad things are noticed. And even if there isn't any, we invent it. Our brain is an operational instrument which puts into practice the received information. We should not, therefore, be surprised if everything we do is to induce ourselves a feeling of discontent.

2. WE GET STUCK IN NEGATIVE SITUATIONS

If a person mistreated you once, that is an accident, if they treated you badly the second and the third time, then it represents a choice. Because you accept being treated badly. And if you complain about this to your friends and relatives but you get in the same situation, it does not necessarily mean that you DID something about this. Life and reality are very diverse. If you get used to being a dynamic person and you embrace change, you will be able to build your reality as you wish it. If you get stuck in patterns, and you do not want things to change, do not complain. You chose the unhappiness and "if you want different results, you need to think differently" as Dr. Richard Bandler says.

3. WE DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT ATTITUDE

Attitude does not always mean fighting the people who threaten the comfort and decency of your existence, it means in many situations the distance you need to take or to speak out clearly what you are willing and what you are not willing to do. Too many times we try not to hurt the feelings of the people around us, but if we "collect" frustrations and we "explode" later, I do not think it helps anyone.

4. WE GET STUCK WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE

Sometimes we spend time with people because we got used to them. If you want to diagnose your life, have a good look at the people you're holding near. We are a mimetic species and we unconsciously imitate what we see around. If you want to be successful, stick around successful people, and if you realise you are unhappy, check who are the unhappy people around you. It is a good thing to analyse your five closest people, because they are your external mirror. Remember that you establish rapport with them and it puts you on the same frequency with them, so make sure you find yourself on a good one.

5. WE LACK COURAGE

As I have already described in my book, the moment I faced death, I realised it was pointless being afraid and not accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish, or living the way I wanted to (of course as long as I did not harm the people around, yet it meant from time to time telling them the naked truth).

Unfortunately, we are afraid, too afraid of doing what would make us happy. And we just get stuck, like that, and life passes by. And when we go through a crisis, we realise that the changes in our life are not bad, on the contrary! It is the moment when you look behind and realize that if you had made a tiny effort every day, your life would be now much, much better!

6. WE DO NOT ORGANISE OUR TIME BETTER

A lot of unhappiness and misery come from poor time management. We keep postponing what we should do, not to make a tiny effort, and we get into a state of  "I do not care anymore", which, later, when it is too late, becomes bitter disappointment. If we stopped the autopilot and we organised our lives better, many reasons for disappointment would disappear from our lives.

7. OUR CONVICTIONS

We are too many times educated in the idea that life is a jungle, we teach our children that life is hard, that people are evil, and guess what will our brain do? It will make us take those actions that will made us leave those realities. It is a matter of education what convictions to have. If you think that something bad will happen to you, or worse, as I could read posted on Facebook that every time something good happens, you should wait for the worse, then you are on the surest path towards unhappiness.

It is true that in your life, as in the life of each and every human being, there will be tragedies, tragedies that happen for no reason, yet, the most painful and hardest to get over are the tragedies created by our way of thinking. So, if you live a big number of tragedies, it is possible that you have an active role in producing them.

8. WE GET STUCK IN THE PAST

Unfortunately, too many people live their lives under the influence of what happened in the past, whether they were abused, they were left or someone dear to them died. If we let our past rule our life, and if we let the bad experiences of the past dictate our present, we are of course condemned to unhappiness. Thus, it is important for us to be present in our lives, to keep in mind Dr. Bandler's words: "The best thing about the past is that it is over"

In conclusion, there are many things to be said about unhappiness and basically, among its causes are the opposites of the things that make us happy, things I broadly analysed in my book.


If you liked my article, you may also like:

http://stefanabalan.blogspot.ro/2013/07/10-things-that-will-make-you-happier.html

http://stefanabalan.blogspot.ro/2013/07/5-killers-of-your-dreams.html

http://stefanabalan.blogspot.ro/2013/01/nlp-techniques-for-dealing-with-past.html