The first thing I learnt since I have been reading about NLP and personal development is that if someone accomplished something, then any person can.
As a matter of fact, this affirmation represents one of the postulates of NLP which pretty much contradicts (to a point) the widespread idea of talent.
Indeed, recent studies on the human genome and DNA showed that there is not such thing as genetic codes for talent.
As a result, any child, with the right education and motivation can become the second Einstein, so we do not need to produce clones of the scientist because what he accomplished was the result of the way he developed in terms of education and personality.
Ok, you may ask me, if people are so similar, why are there princes and beggars (and when I say princes, I do not necessarily have in mind noble titles)? There are several reasons:
1. FEAR
Fear, as I have been writing, played its role in the survival of the species, at times when going into the wild without your tribe would have meant almost sure death.
It is no longer the case nowadays. There are very few reasons for fear, yet fear is greater than ever.
Fear blocks. As a matter of fact this is its neurological role, to block the neuro-cortical connections and stop the action.
I went to the animation movie "The Croods" with my son, and I totally adored the film.
I am happy that the script writers from Hollywood introduce elements of personal development in the films.
If you are afraid of doing new things, if you are afraid of being wrong, you can't possibly evolve. You really can't!
I went to the animation movie "The Croods" with my son, and I totally adored the film.
I am happy that the script writers from Hollywood introduce elements of personal development in the films.
If you are afraid of doing new things, if you are afraid of being wrong, you can't possibly evolve. You really can't!
I have recently been in a park with my son, and as I stayed there I could hear a lot of parents stopping their children from doing almost everything.
We teach our children what not to do more than what to do.
This social programming is so deeply rooted in my mind that I hear myself telling my son way too often not to run, not to go far, not to, not to...
I do not think that you can change your programming if you do not become aware of it, and I do not think that you can have different results if you continue to think the same way.
Yet many people around me do that, they do exactly the same things and expect different results.
Even in my case, the idea that I NEED to do certain things because I need to, has blocked my creativity many times.
School also teaches you "to stay in your place" and that's exactly what you should not do if you want to become successful.
3. THE COMFORT ZONE
I was raised and lived with the idea that happiness is somewhat synonymous to a high level of comfort.
Yet, the unhappiness of many people who have money seemed to contradict me. And rightfully so!
To a certain point, too much comfort means stagnation, boredom and in the end, unhappiness.
People buy all-inclusive packages for their holidays and other products and services that should raise their life comfort and then they notice that they are unhappy.
The brain is not built to do the same things all the time, the human brain is a very evolved instrument that should be used for new activities as well.
The comfort zone is represented by those neuro-cortical connections the brain learnt and can do on autopilot, but these are not enough for our brain's well-functioning, and it sends us signals translated in boredom and dissatisfaction.
Life means DISCOVERY and even though the comfort zone is a warm one, you will never accomplish something great from it.
There is no successful person who is stuck in the comfort zone.
Whoever stays in it, stagnates!
The good part about our brain is that it gets used to the idea of making changes and will oppose less and less resistance.
If you find it really difficult in the beginning to do new things, the more often you do those, you will find it easier.
Unfortunately, at times, in order not to disturb the zone of comfort, people do not even dare to dream.
In life, one needs purposes, and every purpose is, if you want, a dream, bigger or smaller.
Yet, too many times people expect others to tell them what to dream about.
Thus, we get to another enemy of our dreams, namely:
4. THE NEED FOR EXTERNAL VALIDATION.
We are educated in the idea that everything we do, we need to do in conformity with the expectations of others.
You are not beautiful, if your partner doesn't tell you, you are not a good professional unless your boss tells you ... and the list may continue for every aspect of your life.
People put labels on themselves or accept the ones they've got.
Any person is a potential person.
To accomplish something you need to evolve and evolution implies action.
If you want to bring value, be ready to do things differently and if you do things differently, there will be people to tell you that what you do is not right.
That is the moment when you need to continue because it is a sign that something is changing.
5. PROCRASTINATION
A fifth killer of your dreams, and probably one of the most ruthless, is PROCRASTINATION.
It is very dangerous because it infiltrates in our lives very easily and becomes second nature very fast.
It is deceiving because it does not imply giving up, only moving the moment of action, and we move it until there is nothing we can do anymore.
Procrastination is an extremely toxic habit, because you do not realise how many opportunities you lose.
And you lose them daily...
Paul McKenna exemplified it very suggestively with the story of the little frog put in a pot that is heated gradually. It does not jump out but stays there until it dies.
This is what happens to our dreams as well...
In conclusion, do not kill your dreams and do not let the ones around you kill them either.
I promise you, and life proved it to me, if you have a dream and you follow it even though the people around you discourage you, or your brain does not seem happy to listen to you, then your chances to fulfill it are very high.
You should fear only one thing in life and that is a boring life! Have a great life!
You can read more on this topic in the chapters: SOCIAL PROGRAMMING, DEALING WITH PROCRASTINATION and THE POWER OF DETERMINATION from my book HAPPINESS GUIDE FOR BEGINNERS
If you liked my post, you may also like:
http://stefanabalan.blogspot.ro/2013/07/when-love-dies-how-to-accept-idea-of.html
http://stefanabalan.blogspot.ro/2013/07/10-things-that-will-make-you-happier.html
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